I should have said no to that tenant who left his stuff in my house.
I should have said no to my mate who insisted we bike that treacherous trail.
I should have said no to that vampire, that leaner, that diva and bully.
But I could not.
I am too well trained in the art of creating a mirage of “yesses.”
It is a lovely world I conjure for others: no opposition, only pleasing; no meanness, only nice. They can relax because I have this; I can take the pain, the discomfort, the crap—all for their pleasure.
I am the geisha of yes.
But then one day, my true heart bursts forth and yells no, no, no!
With scarlet lipstick I write the word on the bathroom mirror, letters larger than my head.
Still, since my “yes” training is so deep and old, my matrix dies a bloody death.
Only when I move inward and take hold of the Beloved’s hand can I enter the land of “no.”
This place is more real: people are less happy with me.
Rather than pools of honey, it has concrete sidewalks, and sometimes, a pounding jackhammer.
That tenant, mate, or employer may have a crinkle in their brow.
They may shake their heads and even yell at me.
But then one day they understand; there is someone here, a live soul, with agency.
Respect is born, or they slink away.
That mirage I tried to create for others now expands inside me.
It is a place of soothing love baths, waterfalls of power—a doorway to safety.
Most of all, a deep knowing that all those wayward “yesses” weren’t a mistake.
My very descent into the material world came from such a yes.
I said yes to life—to learn, to come to know the God within,
as all experience teaches me
to say no to the lower
and yes, yes, yes to the true life
Oh, Lesley, this is so poignant, so right for me at this moment in my journey. So frequently you express my thoughts better than I am able. Thank you for this seva that you offer so graciously. Baraka Bashad 💙
Thank you, Leslie. I’m so happy our Beloved speaks through me to you in this way. It is such a joy, as are you.
What a lovely and poignant depiction of your own Lesley-vad Gita. We all have to eventually tow our own crosses (of course IHN and through His conference in bhakti, grace, mercy, and love) and serve accountability through reciprocating/allowing/claiming tire on the pavement surrender/devotion. Each one’s own Bhagavad Gita is the only game in town. Thanks for the shared imagery and beautifully crafted storyline.
Thank you, Bobby. So true. We all do have our war to fight, and fortunately we have the one and only true general to lead us.
So on point!❤
Thank you, Sherry.
Lovely Lesley, and so true.
Thank you, Liz.
Inspiring and so True. Thank you.
Thank you, Theresa.
Oh Lesley, so brings to mind your discovery about the tendency to “nice” and the story about it in “All in for Love”. So much Grace and Love being gifted through this beautiful seva.
Thank you for the reminder, Ruthann. Yes, this has definitely been one of my life’s karmas, the lessons, I hope, always deeper, burning those seeds to nothing.
Thank you, Lesley. As always, you hit the pinata squarely and the benefits are spread widely for us all to enjoy.
It’s such a trap — being willing to please because we’re unwilling to displease. But saying no also requires a careful balance of understanding all our inner motives, for the beast of selfishness seems always eager to surface (I speak for myself of course). Nowhere have I seen this balance perfected and displayed so clearly as in observing our sweet Master. He has no problem telling us no and no problem telling us yes, yes, yes! And the occasions for either are exact.
Your poem is so eloquent and so appreciated. Mil gracias!
So true, Rudy, we have the perfect guide for this. In the past weeks I thought of many instances in which the Master was direct and loving in saying no, and it helped me realize that “nice” is just an identity, and like all identities, its days are numbered. Wonderful to hear from you, dear soul.
This brought tears to my eyes, so beautiful. It actually gave me shivers up my spine!
So beautiful & healing, Leslie. It speaks loudly to my own protective YES that I too generously offer too often to others rather than disappointing them by saying No. Having learned the hard way, I am now using my creative imagination to recreate more powerful scenes of comfort and ease for myself,, as I give others the freedom to live out their own challenges in the life orchestrated for them, not me. ❤️
Perfect timing for me. So evocative! Thank you
Beautiful. Enjoy your writing.