Recently I disappointed a friend.
We were to meet up and I didn’t show.
I apologized but was not forgiven.
So I sit with a heavy heart.
In the face of her anger
my mind has a dozen excuses.
My mother just transitioned.
I haven’t slept.
I’m planning a memorial service for 75.
In the end, the Beloved shows me
none of those reasons matter.
I can be an imperfect
I exist because of God’s love for me.
No matter how imperfect my lower actions are today
The eternal flame of love never wavers.
I am It.
What beauty in this One, the center of all. Sometimes a Royal Phoenix, other times a lowly worm. One soaring to the greatest of heights the other crawling in tainted soil and yet both are Loved, and neither are who we are, just a momentary repesentation.
You and your gift… always touching. The brighter you shine the more broad I find my lips become with a smile.
Wow, Logan, such lovely metaphors of soaring and crawling. Truly, we exist far beyond all manifestation, which is why I so enjoyed the Beloved brining in the title to this poem, “No Matter,” You too bring a great, broad smile to me.
So kind, Sonja. Love you too.
OOOOooooohhhh…the teachings state that we are not our vicious or virtuous self. This is not our Real identity. Surrounded by the false, day and night, day after day, presents difficulties in discovering who and what we truly are. The awakening and supplementation of Surat/Soul is the Master’s responsibility. No one else has the spiritual talent or power to do so. “Feelings” are very powerful and accompany me daily. Sifting and weeding, keeping and discarding are going on continually to isolate and polish whatever it is within me that is Real, especially negotiating the mass of quicksand that is my “feelings”. For many years I practiced “not this…not that” within the stewpot of thoughts and feelings, until there was something real and tangible which emerged that WAS NOT thought or feeling, by Grace. This is my Surat…Soul…pure consciousness without material covers of thoughts or feelings. Because I have identified with my thoughts and feelings so long (Maha Yugas), it is but natural to judge my entire day or moment by how I “feel”. I have been lovingly shown that this is sheer ignorance on my part. There may be an apology due, Lesley, maybe not. We have to be careful with all living things, including people. Everyone is very sensitive, indeed. Thank you.
Beautifully said, Al, and yes, I did apologize, and continue to ask for guidance in my relationship with this soul. I appreciate your lovely discussion of sifting through the false to the real, an ever-unfolding process.
What a great lesson for you both. Forgiveness on both sides forthcoming. Your friends ego just got in the way for a while. It is NOT about you. Let it be Lesley, you are loved beyond that which you know.
Thank you, Thomas. You always offer a steady and Masterful view. I have come to see it is just the state of consciousness she is in. I have also seen that I had put forth a cause for her to rely on me, and the perfection of the dissolution of that cause. Blessings to you, dear soul.
Been there, more than once, was just writing yesterday about how unreliable my mind is, and that is a common fact for everyone, which is why human kind has invented so many gadgets to remind us.
I was writing about how I too often forget to meet the Beloved on the Inner, always when I most need Him, which is wheneer I am not with Him, too often distracted by and attached to whatever my current situations are.
But as your beautiful poem stated, the Beloved’s eternal flame of Love is unwavering “no matter.”
It is always there for me and IS the True Me, not the Despicable Me! ha-ha
So true, Sheila. What you write is a great reminder for me. Yesterday I spent the day clearing my mother’s house. I often got lost in the task, forgetting the Beloved completely, and since then I’ve felt the loss of that precious time. But all I have to do is claim it NOW and all love returns.
Beautiful, Lesley. I was just watching the Master’s 6/4/11 talk where the chela was so apologetic about the lights going out. The Master just didn’t support the guilty reaction. If you didn’t’ show up for that friend, there’s a divine and beautiful reason. Much love to you.
Marian, what you say is profound. Truly all happens for a reason, and the Beloved has shown me that this soul needed to see how flawed I can be in my actions. All of our false Gods must fall in order for the true one to become our only Beloved.
Dear Lesley, this is so congruent with my recent realization regarding some judgments I was having. Once I was able to see beyond the judgments and understand the perfection of the experience, I was transformed. We are none of these experiences. Realizing that makes it so much easier to forgive ourselves and others, and stay in the life-giving love/flow, the only place where we can actually breathe. 🙂 And how beautiful that you are taking this experience and turning it into a gift for us all. Thank you!
Jamie, “Stay in the life-giving love/flow” is a gorgeous phrase. What a challenge it is to stay there, with equal payoff when we manage to do so. We are constantly challenged in order to strengthen our third-eye muscle. I am so grateful it is so, and grateful for your wisdom and friendship.
Thank you, Lesley, for sharing a snippet of your life. “I am imperfect and will you forgive me?” is such an honest and self-aware a plea, that I don’t know who could reject its sincerity. I love that in the end all the excuses for not meeting up did not matter. We are all flawed and we are all perfect in our flaws. In fact it is the willingness to see ourselves in our wholeness that liberates us enough to allow us to trim away our failings. What a beautiful gift you have left us in this entry. Thank you again!
Rudy, your comment bears repeating: “it is the willingness to see ourselves in our wholeness that liberates us enough to allow us to trim away our failings.” Honestly, I am grateful to this soul for the opposition that continues to raise me to this realization. In our wholeness, nothing can move us, not anger, disappointment, not even praise. We are consciousness, containing every vibration existent, so how could any of those singular parts affect us? Thank you, dear friend.
An insightful and beautiful perspective my dear friend. Sending you loving hugs and a smile from the warmest, gentlest, and most nourishing part of your own heart. Love you, Ron
A big smile fills my face as I read your comment, Ron. Thank you for those loving wishes. I’m blessed to know you, dear friend. Love to you!
Sometimes, dear friend, you just need to retire within and let the world go, regardless of the promises made or the expectations of others. Not easy when others depend on you, but so very important. They will understand or they won’t. That is their responsibility, not yours. You have made your amends and that is all that is needed.
There is much to sit with right now, tending to what is most important, and allowing yourself the time needed to just be still. Take that time. Let the outer go and embrace the lover within. You have earned the right to do so.
What a beautiful experience for you both. Keep shining, Bhakti flower. Your essence provides such sweet fragrance to us all.
Deborah, your message feels as though it is straight from the Beloved’s lips. I will do all that the message says, and read it again so I remember. What a waterfall of relief those words bring me. Thank you, beautiful Divine channel.
I love your poem Lesley! You portray forgiveness as revelation, beautiful and evocative. You show self-love in all its wonder and discovery. Thank you!
Thank you, Martine. Wow, what poetry you wrote in response. Truly every experience can reveal new heights when we are willing to see. So happy to see you here.
Ciao Lesley, as I slowly contemplated your channeling in this beautiful piece, I felt a wave of bliss come over me and I felt it now okay to not be a perfect man, human being, mate, business man, spiritual student and so many other expectations. How wonderful to know that the eternal flame of love never wavers. i have tears in my eyes as I write this because it just came at a perfect time in my sojourn back home. i realize because of this channeling that i am still trying,(my will, not thy will) to fulfill all these roles and have felt a burden weighing upon my being. The Master has spoken through you to me to surrender more to his will more and more, day by day, moment by moment. Blessings to you my friend for all that you do channel to all of us, moment by moment.
I’m happy the Beloved touched you in that way, Michael. It is such a relief to realize that all lower identities are mere illusion and our goal far surpasses them and can be achieved through love alone.