Recently I turned down a book contract. Even as I write this I shake my head, incredulous. This might very well be an author’s greatest sin.
But I had to.
The Beloved has shown me that the physical world is practice. It is the playground where I hone my skills that ultimately take me into the higher worlds, where love rather than force rules.
When I look back on my life I see this powerful truth in action. Early in my spiritual quest I wanted to see the world. Before I even knew of my power as a creator, I was living in a slum without enough money to pay my bills. While reading a magazine I found a picture of some pyramidal peaks glazed with mist in China and I taped that image to my wall.
Within six months I was there.
That experience marked the beginning of my practice at being the creator. I imagined other lands: Bali, Thailand, Borneo, Nepal, Kenya, Peru, Bolivia, and before long I set foot in those places. Of course I bore all the challenges that come with travel: loneliness, discomfort, noise, frustration and illness, but I also partook of spectacular beauty and adventure.
Now I take the same energy that went into those creations and direct it inward. That is why I turned down the book contract.
As I ventured into the experience I saw how much energy it was taking, to write the proposal, apply for grants because it paid little, and meet with my collaborator to discuss the complexities of the project. Above all, I wasn’t passionate about the subject. It didn’t pass the Hell Yes Test.
As well, the book would have required that I travel, stay in hotels and eat diner food. Though a part of me can still enjoy a good road trip, right now my health doesn’t tolerate such excursions. They make me ill, sap my energy and thus my spiritual connection.
Instead, I choose to direct that energy to staying home—not my material house, but my stationing in soul.
My decision to turn down the book contract is not an act of denial, but of love. I have written books, I have traveled, and through those acts I have come to know that the adventure, wealth, recognition and love that I sought out in the broad world can be had in any moment right within me.
Best of all that love is free of deadlines, picky editors, delayed flights, road rage and stomach aches.
It is a love that sees beauty in all of creation, a love that allows everyone and everything space to be themselves, a love that seeks nothing but to give itself away.
It is God.
So what happens when I direct that love inward?
I get to outflow here on this blog, while I sip my tea and wear my bedroom slippers.
Most importantly, I get to write about what I love most: God.
I can only imagine the power of redirecting all that outward-bound energy to my true self.
But where will I get money, you ask?
That question is not for me to answer. I simply show up and be willing to channel this love in whatever way the Divine would have me.
Already I’m seeing my new creation take form. My subscriber list is growing and the reader reviews of my novel, The Baby Pact, are stellar.
But I don’t have to worry over the details. In the same way the Divine gave me a plane ticket to China some 25 years ago, that power will also give me exactly what I need today.
In fact, It already has.
P.S. If you would like to receive my blog posts in your email box, please sign up below.
The Baby Pact is a love-filled Christmas gift.
Here’s what one reviewer says on Amazon:
What a great read! Lesley S. King captures the universal longing we all have to find true happiness, and with raw honesty reveals all the many byways one can travel to reach their destination. This book has something for everyone, and beautifully weaves adventure, suspense, humor and drama in a story about self discovery.
Purchase your copy here.