In a nest on my porch sits a lone hatchling. I am likely responsible for the death of its siblings.
A month ago on my porch I checked the hanging plant that last year hid a nest. But this year I didn’t find one. And yet I sensed there must be one because I had seen a finch fly in and out.
With the garden hose I watered the plant. Still the finch came, so I checked more deeply and underneath the miniature daisies found a nest. To my horror, three of the eggs were sitting in the leaves. Only one remained in its rightful place.
My heart clenched with the sight. I assume the water I poured into the plant floated the eggs out. With a stick, I gingerly moved them back in and then I waited, hoping I hadn’t interfered too much with the finches’ lives.
One day a baby hatched. It was a breath of fur and pink skin, an image that made my heart leap with joy. And then I thought maybe another egg had hatched as well. But in subsequent days I peeked in only to find the remaining eggs unbroken.
The sight brought a similar weight of sadness that I have felt lately in conflicts with my mother.
Always, she wants more of my time. I give what I can—many hours a week—but ultimately I must disappoint her. I don’t mean to, but I hurt her.
My spiritual teacher assures me that in God’s eyes, all is perfect, and when I center in Divine love I see that It is an omnipotent creator. The life that was to fill those little eggs will flourish elsewhere. Nothing can stop the Divine from fulfilling Its purpose.
Next time I will follow the quiet nudge that told me there was a nest in that plant.
And that is my lesson here: To listen more attentively to the subtler reality around me.
And to stay in the Divine love, where all is perfect.
I have spent my life trying to atone for the hurts—the lapses in judgment, the bursts of anger, the jealousy and greed—that I have manifested with lovers, family members, friends and animals.
I now see that there is only one solution: give them to God.
I come into the now and live my life from the highest vibration possible. Only that movement dissipates the karma that is far too complex for me to make right—far too tight a coil for me to unwind.
What this soul in the body of my mother owes me, what I owe her—who can calculate? How could I ever fix the “mistake” of floating those precious eggs out of the nest?
It is not up to me to balance the scales of justice. What I can do is center in my Beloved and be true to me. From that place all balances automatically.
As Rumi says,
“You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly!”
The lone hatchling?
Now he flies about my porch and beyond into the broad world.
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Dear Lesley, I relate to your bitter sweet contemplation over this topic, as I have been in a similar position oh too many times. And I am working on taking the same course of action that you have so beautifully elaborated on in this post. I ask daily to be become more conscious of all the subtle influences of the Divine, to always be awake enough to act in my highest awareness in each moment and to surrender the rest to God. Everything that happens is a gift from the Divine and if we can see it that way, we are blessed at every turn. We are all the lone hatchling, who with God’s grace, will find our way in this world and beyond. Thank you Lesley once again for your beautiful reflection of truthful and conscious living. xoxo
I love what you say, Jamie: “I ask daily to be become more conscious of all the subtle influences of the Divine, to always be awake enough to act in my highest awareness in each moment and to surrender the rest to God.” And wonderfully, I do see shifts. Just yesterday, my mother lovingly said to me. “Go on home, go live your life!” She said it with such love and kindness. It warmed my heart. Thank you, dear Jamie, for journeying with me.
Jamie and Lesley you hit the nail on the head. The way the Master works his way through your words is so beautiful and right on. Thank you for being in the “front lines” with your beauty, grace, and continual challenges/surrender through day to day experiences and for your sweet soul friendship. What a great reflection of the lone hatching of inside……….a new birth is around the corner for you 🙂
Thank you, Debra, for being on the “front lines” too. And I love what you say about a new birth. I am already feeling it taking flight within. And you must be seeing your own new birth too.
I love Jamie’s comments. Her statement that we are all the lone hatchling rings so true. All of life is perceived through our own senses, plus the understanding we are able to infer through them. Everything and every thing in our lives are perfect for us — they are only present because we can perceive them. All else is irrelevant to us personally.
We have a sense of connectedness (obligation) to family and loved ones that comes from a feeling of gratitude, both real and imposed. But our only true connection and obligation is to God and to the daily rekindling of desire to seek Him, but those two obligations will surely collide at some point in our journey. It is so interesting to watch your relationship with your mother unfold before our eyes. It is very generous of you to share something so intimate, yet so common among us and we learn so much from your journey. The observations you derive from the “front porch of life” are a gift to us all. Also, I love your writing style — it helps the lessons to penetrate into our soul center.
Rudy, you have such wisdom, especially about family. I always appreciate your contribution. The collision you speak of offers a perfect opportunity for God to get involved and make the changes on the outer as they appear in our inner. It is a beautiful dance of owning and manifesting the truth. I’m happy to share the dance with you.
Sometimes we help others in ways unseen, we never see the tree on the first day once we’ve sowed the seeds, but it manifests or grows on its own time nonetheless.
I am always thankful to see your articles, as The Master said not to long ago “not even world leaders will speak of God or Spirit (or Truth), and these are our leaders (in the world).” So when I see someone else reflect there love of Spirit (Shabda) and bring it out to the world, they are sure to receive my gratitude and commendation.
Keep on shining, I am sure many others like me enjoy the rays.
Thanks for being a bold example and serving in the “front lines” (love that, Debra). It helps me take a step forward in that direction. 🙂
Logan, your rays shine ever brightly, illuminating all of us who know you. I always appreciate your comments, so full of love are they. Thank you!
Beautiful, Leslie, just beautiful. How often we find ourselves in that type of situation, forgetting that we are all part of the Divine…
Yes, Cynthia, thank you. That is what it boils down to, isn’t it: Forgetting that we are Divine and all is us. That viewpoint erases any sense of good and bad, right and wrong.
Thank you, Lesley, for this beautiful post. It was exactly what I needed to read right now. I, too, am currently struggling with the issue of not doing enough for my aging parents – in my case because I live so far away. So dozens of times throughout the day, I remind myself of the Master’s instructions to accept all that I experience “with gratitude and contentment”. I suppose if it was in my highest spiritual interest to live closer and do more, that would manifest easily and naturally. It hasn’t, so I take that to mean that right being right here, right now, doing what I’m doing is the Beloved’s will for me. Thank you again.
Thank you, Marian. Yes, we are exactly where we are supposed to be. I realize I have needed to be close to my family because I’ve had a lot to work out with them. I have also benefitted greatly by sharing in a rich life with them. As you know, there really is no space and time, and even if you aren’t there physically, I am sure that the love you emit touches your parents deeply. So happy to “see” you here Marian.
It seems that every winter I try and save a bird that has knocked itself out against one of my windows. Last year it was a Western Blue Bird. I picked it up with a cotton cloth and held it for a long time until it started to come around. I then found a little box and made a little nest for it and put it in the sun so it would warm up and hopefully survive. This summer I stopped traffic and stomped my feet to move a bull snake off the road. I stop my pickup for quail hatchlings crossing the road. I do this because it seems like the right thing to do. The sad thing is that for every little bird or other animal I save others are killed by uncaring or unknowing motorist or other things such as windows and weather. The blue bird didn’t make it last winter and I have seen several snakes run over and it always makes me sad. You can only do what you do—and in your case the picture of the hatchling is worth a great deal.
In care giving you can only do what you can do, most of the time, anymore, it seems like a hopeless cause for me. I do my best and listen to others who tell me “maybe you were born to be a caregiver”. I just can’t believe that and I want more. I don’t think wanting something better is bad. Things wear me down so bad that I have to take my puppy and go for a walk in the woods and even that doesn’t help when I come back. Everything is the same or worse.
I read an article you wrote sometime back about a visit you made to Reserve, NM. I have never been able to put that article out of my head. I felt you didn’t deserve the way you were treated by the person you referred to in that article. This person seemed to “hurt’ you. Then you moved on and it didn’t seem to show in any of your future writings. I always want to have people care for me and yes I have dished out some hurt and other not so nice things. That’s me and I can only do my best. I don’t think my situation is Karma or anything like that it’s just what’s going on know in my life. Lately I have had a lot of thoughts about moving away someplace and being left alone. I don’t know what the future will bring but it has to be good.
Thanks for your words—gave me some things to compare myself to.
Hi John, I’m happy that you received my post. I wondered if we’d gotten that technical difficulty worked out. I also thought of you while writing this, knowing that you are giving care to a loved one as well.
Your stories of saving animals warmed my heart. You sound very courageous on their behalf, just as you do as you care for your loved one. It is interesting, as I have gone through this situation with my mother, claiming more of my own life, she has suddenly begun to talk about moving to an assisted living home.
Whether she does or not, I see how shifts in me bring shifts in the outer situation. It sounds like you are experiencing some shifts yourself. And you are right, whatever the future brings, it will be good.
Thank you Lesley, I find a great value in the heartfelt sharing of other’s. Your writing prompted me to reflect on the concepts of vibration. Much of my life I acted badly by many standards. Perhaps my vibrations were out of tune, I don’t know. Perhaps some of what appeared bad accomplished some good. I don’t know. I do know that at some point I became convinced that my best course of action was to diligently commit myself to tuning my vibrational frequency through meditation and prayer. I have also found mindfully reverent study to be harmonizing, also. So, I do not really know what is good or bad, but feeling life more deeply appears to enhance my appreciation of Life. Namaste
Thank you, Sammi. I really appreciate you commenting, and your point is stellar. The only way to change our vibration, and thus our circumstances, is through a spiritual practice. Each of us must find the practice that works for us, but doing one each day is certainly the secret to my happiness.
Beautiful, Leslie, thanks for taking a spiritual principle and once again applying it to life all around us !
Susan, thank you for your kind response. The more I see all of life as spiritual, the more beautiful it all becomes. So happy to be in contact with you!
So beautiful Lesley. Your personal story with your mother and the gifts unfolding as you surrender more fully to his divine grace and mercy. Your writing is such an inspiration to me in so many ways. Thank you for all that you share and give so lovingly.
Deborah, you are so kind. And thank you for all you give. Your comments here and on Facebook carry much wisdom. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing on Twitter, nminfogirl!