• You’re happy for no reason.
  • Your memory is replaced by Post-It notes.
  • You realize that in arguments, the fault lies not on their side of the street, nor on your side of the street. You own the whole block.
  • You tell your friends you have a life-threatening illness and they say “congratulations.”
  • You tell your friends you’re getting a divorce and they say “congratulations.”
  • Your biggest thrill takes place while you sit quietly alone in your house.
  • People ask you what you’ve been up to lately and you can’t think of a thing, but you’re certain your life is more exciting than it has ever been.
  • You’d rather Be than do.
  • You laugh at the beginning of your beloved’s jokes.
  • Peace is acceptable, war has its place, but that barking dog next door has got to go!
  • You’ve detached from work, family and possessions, but chocolate. . . not so much.
  • You’d rather part with money than hold onto it.
  • You don’t know what you ate for your last meal, but you’re pretty sure of what you did in your last life, and it still gives you indigestion.