Like a bird who can’t enjoy flying

but instead only pecks, eats and drinks,

I race from one activity to the next.

 

I end each day

stretched out on the bed

wanting nothing but sleep.

 

But suddenly I awaken.

I watch my movements

fast

and jerky,

my steps

pacing

the concrete.

 

Why?

 

Fear…

 

Of not being enough,

doing enough,

loving enough.

 

Above all,

fear

that I am not loved.

 

So I rush and push and manage

to make up for it.

 

In truth, there is no destination.

 

Only here.

 

Only now.

 

I exist because of God’s love for me,

No other reason.

 

With this knowing,

and my Lover’s presence,

everything changes.

 

I soar through the aisles

of the grocery store,

take flight as I do the dishes.

 

Like a Tai Chi master,

I relish my measured movements,

each telling the story of a fearless life.

 

Rather than expend energy

this fills me up as I go along—

a constant inflow and outflow.

 

At the day’s end

I can sit quietly and read

so full am I

of the Patient One’s love.