Sitting in my car I don my sun hat and lace up my boots in preparation for a morning hike. My phone rings, and when I answer, I hear the voice of the attorney for our neighborhood association. He sounds earnest as he asks how I am.
My heartbeat accelerates, assuming he is calling to report the judge’s final ruling in our well case. Though I assume we will win, I know better than to be certain of anything in the material world. It is such an unsteady, mercurial place that one can never rely on it. Because of this, in the past weeks, whenever the idea of this judgment has entered my consciousness, I have released all outcomes to the Beloved.
Our neighborhood association did, as the judge directed us, try to settle with the woman I call Dee, who has refused to pay her well bills. See Be the Harmony You Want to See in the World. But she didn’t respond and so, all is left to the highest court in the land—the Santa Fe District Court.
Out the windshield of my car, finches chirp and leap among branches of an apricot tree. Puffy white clouds skate across an azure sky. Truly, I sense, the outcome matters not. What matters is my willingness to courageously walk through any experience, while holding the Beloved’s hand. I know that all arises in me, of me and for me. All is for my ascension in spirit.
The attorney’s emotionless voice does give me pause. We must have lost, I think. I swallow and take hold of the steering wheel.
“You won,” he says.
“Yes, the judge did award Dee the cost of a few repair bills, but on all counts he sided with you.”
As well, the attorney informs me, Dee is to pay the legal bills, which exceed the amount she owes us five-fold.
A smile stretches across my face, and the light shining in my car window takes on a golden hue. I thank him and head out on my walk.
As I traverse piñon forest bordering a golf course, I feel the mind take hold of this. It is elated, feels righteous. It wants me to jump up and down with joy over victory in a battle that has lasted some six years, taken hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars, and caused countless sleepless nights and furious tears.
I call on the Beloved and hold that response at bay. I realize that the victory is not in the ruling but in what I do with it in this moment. My attachment to my house, my money and my time caused this very karma. I had to walk through the experience in order to be where I am today, hiking among the beauty of an unshakable love that is neither for nor against any outcome, but instead exists in the bliss of the Divine now.
On the trail I round a bend and suddenly come into a view across acres of green grass capped in the distance by the stunning blue of the Jemez Mountains. Viewing from this higher vantage, I see yet more. This court case reflects my willingness to stand up to my material mind.
Much of my life has been dedicated to earning money, success and prestige in my work, even at the cost of my own well-being. My own high court has ruled instead for values of love and truth. Now my focus is much more directed toward kindness to myself and others, trusting that the Beloved will take care of my sustenance. This is cause for celebration.
I also assume that the struggle with this soul, Dee, may not be over. If subtle levels of karma persist, the Beloved will take me through them, and I am willing because I know the outcome will only open me yet more to the love that I truly am.
Win or lose, when I remain in the arms of my Beloved inner self, I am always victorious.
With that thought, I leap in the air and yell, “Yes!”
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