All In

“I’m all in, calling out your name,

Even if I lose the game. I’m all in, I’m all in for life.”—Lifehouse

A year ago, all of my writing work ceased to nourish me, so I either left it or it left me. I wrote about this parting in the post I Can’t Wait to Go to Work in the Morning.

One day I was graced with an image of myself as an unconditionally shining sun. I saw that I needed to switch my reliance for sustenance from the outside to the inside. Rather than rely on writing and publishers I must rely on my Beloved inner self.

I asked God what that might mean and got the nudge to begin blogging in earnest.

I have endured many sleepless nights, and days when my fingers trembled on the computer keys.  Meanwhile, much redirection has come. I learned that I must be as sincere as possible here. When I am not, noise results—criticism and arguing from readers. And I learned my task as a channel for the Divine is to share my experience, rather than teach.

I invested money and time in each post. And I set about publishing my novel The Baby Pact, to be released this fall. Meanwhile, I did whatever work came my way. I coached writers, helped my elderly mother, and wrote small articles for magazines.

My income has not completely covered the expenses, so I cashed in some investments to keep going.

I continue to ask for guidance.

This blog has touched people, helped them move more deeply into their spiritual paths, which is my goal—and so I’ve felt success.

And it has helped me most of all. As I write each post I listen over a period of days or weeks to the Divine flow—and my understanding deepens. I claim yet more of the strength of that unconditional sun, the originator, shining onto all creation.

So a few weeks ago, I got a call from a notable photographer who has read my travel writing and recently my blog. He asked me to collaborate with him on a book for which he has an interested publisher.

He chose me because of the spiritual nature of my writing.

After we met and discussed the project, I was filled with gratitude, for the book, yes, but that is in my Beloved’s hands. I’m really grateful for my willingness to give all to the Divine, to be “all in,” to do what is in front of me each day and trust that if I pursue my work in love, God will support me.

And God is, most of all in the love I feel each day.

That love is like skipping down a country road.

It is like a turquoise ocean upon which I blissfully float.

It stretches a smile across my face and calms my fluttering heart.

It shows me that I am eternal and completely sustained by God. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can harm me—ever.

I am that love.



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41 Responses to “All In”

  1. Sonja Hannon August 28, 2012 at 7:14 am #

    Very beautiful!

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 8:12 am #

      Thank you, Sonja. You deliver such beauty to me on Facebook. I’m happy to reciprocate!

  2. Jamie August 28, 2012 at 7:21 am #

    Oh Lesley, I am so happy for you! You are such a shining example of surrender and reliance on the Master. I know what you mean about not being nourished by your life’s passion. There are interests of mine that used to be fulfilling that have no pull for me anymore. I question the things that I write/create as well and keep feeling that by doing what I came here to do on the inner, all will unfold perfectly. My only true gift is to BE the truth of my being. I admire your courage to honor your truth and inner knowingness, and allow the way to be shown to you. All shall be added unto you. Enjoy this new adventure!

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 8:14 am #

      Ah, Jamie, as always, you write such poetry. It is true, our greatest task is to BE and all comes of that, and especially to be true to our deepest inner self. You too are a shining example for me.

  3. Rudy Anderson August 28, 2012 at 7:32 am #

    Beautiful imagery, Lesley, the sun. How true it is. We see the sun and think that it shines for us, not remembering that the amount of its energy that actually touches earth is minuscule, for its power flows in every conceivable direction. This is fortunate because soon in its yearly cycle earth will be using energy on the “backside” of the sun. It’s stability never wavers and its gifts are constant. Like you said, its energy and power comes from within. When I see you have written another blog, I am anxious to feel that rich constancy in the spiritual gift that, like the sun you are, will surely warm me. I wish you many blessings in the unveiling of your new book and look forward to your new collaboration with the photographer. Your work continues to dependably bless an ever-widening array of fellow souls as we photosynthesize the love you offer so freely. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. Your courage and viewpoint are always inspiring.

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 8:21 am #

      Wow, Rudy, that is beautiful. I love the idea of us photosynthesizing truth in all forms that it comes to us. You, too, shine your rays on many, including me, and I am ever grateful.

    • Jamie August 28, 2012 at 8:48 am #

      Beautifully said Rudy! You weave such love and imagery with your words. 🙂

  4. Qatana Samanen August 28, 2012 at 7:37 am #

    Hello Sweetheart.

    So glad to hear of your good news about the book opportunity. Such strong affirmation of the beliefs that have sustained you. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, an inspiration for us all.

    Much love.

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 8:23 am #

      Qatana, wonderful to see you here. Your courage has inspired me greatly in this past year and so do we shine the truth and love on each other. I’m happy to have met you in, of all places, New Jersey!

  5. Thomas Reidy August 28, 2012 at 8:05 am #

    Lesley, I am eternally greatfull to be resipient of your blogs. Thank you for sharing so much. Love, truth and beauty is yours.

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 8:25 am #

      Thomas, your concise comments always impact me deeply. Just as with our Beloved’s message, your words offer much depth to contemplate, always with soul at its root. Thank you, dear friend.

  6. Alice Chan August 28, 2012 at 8:40 am #

    Lesley, You really are the most beautiful guide to us in showing us that we’re always taken care of by the Divine, provided we trust and surrender our fear-based need to hang onto our image of how money needs to come in and how we’re supposed to sustain ourselves. I can so relate to what you wrote about the income you got hasn’t been enough to sustain yourself. Yet, you’ve kept walking in faith. Thank you for being such a beautiful example for us. Much gratitude and love to you, my friend.

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 1:07 pm #

      Alice, I am happy that we met just over a year ago and began sharing our journey into the unknown. The other day, a friend said to me, “I love not knowing!” I realized that I really do too. It is much easier to not know when I have friends like you who don’t know either but who are willing to keep stepping forward in love. Blessings, dear friend.

  7. Cheryl Fallstead August 28, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    Congratulations, Lesley! Your faith is inspiring, as is your hard work! Best wishes for success on this project.

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

      Thank you, Cheryl. I see you pursuing your passion as well. We definitely inspire each other.

  8. Deb Davis August 28, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    Dear Lesley,
    Thank you for sharing the messages that are sign posts as we walk along the Path. I, too, am asking what is next in my life and the answer I received was mirrored by your last story “All In”. It does bring a smile to my face:)
    Many Blessings to you.

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

      Deb, I’m happy to be an example of a truth you heard on the Inner. That is the best! I so appreciate you reading.

  9. Bob Watson August 28, 2012 at 10:44 am #

    Just as the Sun’s power derives from fusing light elements together (fusion), your Essential messages shine with a similar radiant power that is generated when the lightness and joy of your writing skills fuse with your spiritual beliefs. It’s a wonderful thing to see your transformation, and we are all enriched by your honesty and openness.

    The image I see is you powering through the crest of a high, standing wave with the bow of your kayak. Definitely “all in”.

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 1:00 pm #

      Bob, that is very kind of you to say, and it’s wonderful to hear a scientific explanation of the sun’s power. We are all so blessed to have this beautiful material world to help nudge us in our true direction, painful as the nudge may feel sometimes.

  10. Sherri Ohnemus August 28, 2012 at 11:19 am #

    This hit a cord deep in me today with an arrow dipped in Shabda! Thank you for sharing your experience!

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 1:04 pm #

      You are welcome, Sherri. Walking the spiritual path requires so much courage. How fantastic that we have each other as we face these illusions. When one of us stands up to the negative force, all of creation benefits.

  11. facebook_logan.joel.7 August 28, 2012 at 12:17 pm #

    Quiero decir mucho, pero veo y confio que El Divino Maestro se encarga de todas las cosas que no puedo decir o hacer.
    Gracias por compartir tu luz en el Camino. Con Mucho Amor! 🙂

    I wish to say much, but I see and trust that The Divine Master takes care of all the things that I can not say or do.
    Thank you for sharing your light on the Path. With Much Love! 🙂

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm #

      Logan, I always enjoy your Spanish–I can understand much of it, but am happy that you also provide a translation. And thank you as well. Your brightness shines on all you touch.

  12. Sage Kimble August 28, 2012 at 1:11 pm #

    Beautiful, Lesley. The Master will always be there when we rely on Him. We jump off cliffs at times, trusting he will catch us, or guide us to a soft landing spot. Your unshakable faith is an inspiration.

    • Lesley August 28, 2012 at 1:18 pm #

      Thank you, Sage. What you say is so true. In fact, one day it came to me that the Beloved gives me everything. I simply set up the best circumstances possible to receive. The day after I really got that, this book opportunity arose.

  13. facebook_marian.vigil.1 August 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm #

    Thank you for your beautiful contemplation, Lesley. Your courage and trust in the Beloved inspire me to believe that one day I, too, may be able to surrender my fear to the Master and open up to new (and maybe less secure?) opportunities. I’m so happy to learn of your new book opportunity and will look forward to reading it when it’s published. Please keep writing and sharing your journey with us.

    • Lesley August 29, 2012 at 6:47 am #

      Marian, clearly, you have opened up to new opportunities in the most important realm–that of spirit. All else comes in its own time. Thank you for sharing with us here. You are precious.

  14. facebook_yadasweet August 28, 2012 at 3:38 pm #

    Lesley, I am all in. I really enjoyed your post and all the comments. I felt so inspired. I even wrote a long comment with all the energy your piece invoked. Here is the edited version:)
    – An old mentor of mine used to say: If you love what you do, it ceases to be a task and becomes a life style. It is really important to make sure that there is love in what you want to be invested in. When I am passionate about what I do I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to cross any barrier. The courage and faith comes from the passion or love. The initial deed by itself becomes satisfactory. I feel detached from the outcomes. My actions are expectation free.
    – And Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said: Take the first step with faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase.
    You took the first step with faith, Lesley. And you have not even seen the whole staircase yet. You have more blessing ahead of you. Keep going, fellow traveler.

    • Lesley August 29, 2012 at 6:50 am #

      Thank you so much, Yadasweet. Your kind message really does expand my courage because it is so true. We really are the creators. I’m happy that this conversation inspired you to write such beauty!

  15. Sammi Law August 28, 2012 at 6:13 pm #

    Lovely Lesley.

    • Lesley August 29, 2012 at 6:50 am #

      Thank you, Sammi!

  16. Bud Russo August 28, 2012 at 6:57 pm #

    Ah, yes, that moment of bliss when we realize we are the product of thoughts from the mind of God. He gave us a choice: surrender totally to him, be enslaved to God, and attain total freedom … or … try to contend with this universe all on you own. You have chosen wisely. Isn’t it wonder…full to know God as only she who has surrendered can know Him.

    I’m sorry, I’d rather God be gender neutral but our language convention and historic usage make it difficult.

    • Lesley August 29, 2012 at 6:51 am #

      Beautifully, said, Bud. What you say is so true. The more we surrender, the more we receive. Blessings, dear friend.

  17. Mimi Shannon August 29, 2012 at 10:40 am #

    Lesley, the first time I met you I felt filled up and when you write I feel it as well. Such a gift. There is such a poetic flow of energy that accompanies your prose that leaves such a lovely message on top of your message if that makes any sense. Thank you for your truth and the light you shine. Q12 gave us many things but, for me, the connections/friendships will always be the very best. XXOO

    • Lesley August 29, 2012 at 11:58 am #

      Mimi, I so appreciate seeing you here. You are a wonderful model for how to flow love into the world.

  18. John Litherland September 1, 2012 at 10:02 pm #

    Lesley, thank you for your example of courage, faith, and love. “All in” is the only way to truly both give and find one’s self. I will try to remember that as I go through my own transition over the next year.

    • Lesley September 2, 2012 at 7:55 am #

      John, it is great to see you here, and I am happy to be in the loop as you transition your life. I imagine that you are probably good being “All In.” How else does one become a submarine pilot? I love what you say: “All in” is the only way to truly both give and find one’s self. Thank you!

  19. Emily Drabanski September 5, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

    Lesley, your words and deeds truly inspire me. Congratulations on this newest heart-centered project. You SOOO deserve it. Blessings and love!

    • Lesley September 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

      Thank you, Emily. I’m so happy to see you here. Blessings and love to you too.

  20. Kathryn Lobberegt September 12, 2012 at 11:55 am #

    Your message, your imagery, are always so poignant and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

    The replies you receive are also gorgeous! A ray of sunshine in my day.


    • Lesley September 12, 2012 at 12:02 pm #

      Thank you, Kathryn. I am happy to hear this brings out your joy. And yes, the replies are full of love.

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